Life Envisioning for 2019 – Part 2 of 4
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In my last article, titled “The Wisdom of Self Sabotage,” I discussed how we have two parts of our self. What I call our universal self and our societal self. The emotional discomfort that we are avoiding when we self-sabotage is from these two parts of us conflicting with each other.
As the new year approaches, it’s good to reflect on how we would like our lives to be better, how we want to learn and grow. We have the best of intentions with our resolutions.
To ensure that 2019 is the year that you do achieve your desired outcomes, I recommend evaluating your list of goals or resolutions with your universal self. Our societal self sets goals based on what it feels it should do or has to do. These “shoulds” and “have tos” are usually based on belief systems that source back to our family of origin (for example, a good wife keeps the house clean) or are cultural constructs (for example, thinner is better.) Our societal self drives us towards achievement-oriented goals without considering whether those goals will bring us closer or farther away from how we want to feel. We might think that external circumstances create how we feel, yet it’s our feeling state that creates external circumstances.
So, we ignore our desires and do what we think is right, good, healthy, or admirable.
How can you know that your goals are aligned with your true self’s deepest desires and needs?
Being in alignment with your universal self means to be in synch with what you want and to also believe that you can have it. When we are in alignment, we are in touch with the larger part of who we are… our higher (or universal) self. When we feel emotions such as joy, hope, motivation, and excitement, we are in alignment, which always feels good! When you are experiencing disappointment, stress, anger or any type of negative emotion, you are out of alignment with yourself, and thus find ways to avoid the things that cause you to feel that way.
Here’s a 5-Step checkpoint to evaluate your goals. This can be used for your New Year’s resolutions or your To Do List.
Get out something to take notes on, a journal works great. This is a new way of navigating through life so this would be a great time to start a journal if you haven’t already.
1. What’s the bad habit or self-sabotaging behavior that you’ve been wanting to break?Think about the thing you do that stops you from going to the gym, or what you do when you are procrastinating, or how you compensate for stress. If this behavior is frequent and it’s preventing you from getting what you truly want, then bingo! Write down the habit.
2. Now, make a list of your goals.Since it’s that time of year, your 2019 New Year’s Resolutions would be ideal.
3. Body Awareness
Find a comfortable place to sit, put down your paper and pen, uncross your legs, and begin to relax.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, releasing tension as you exhale. Notice the rise and fall of your chest.
Allow your breath to return to normal.
Feel your muscles sinking into the chair.
Notice what your body feels like when it’s relaxed.
4. Read over your list of goals and notice the degree to which each item makes your body tense and/or you feel like engaging in your common self-sabotaging behavior (that you noted in Step #1.) Next to each item give it a score from zero to ten. Zero if you’re not tempted at all, ten if makes you want to jump up and rush to wherever you go (fridge, wine cabinet, phone, television, back to bed, etc.)
5. For a few moments, imagine your ideal life. Bask in the feelings it creates. Now go back over your goal list. For each item ask yourself:
What is the feeling state that I most desire? Will this goal create that feeling?
Would I do this thing at all in my ideal life?
Could I change it to make it more enjoyable?
If the answer was “no” to any of the last three questions, what would I rather do?
To create the life you want, dream about it and imagine what it will look and feel like. As you are visualizing your life as you want it to be, feel the emotion of it. Feel the joy, the happiness, the love… whatever it makes you feel. Feeling your dream life in present time will guide and form the means to creating it. Remember, it’s our feeling state that creates external circumstances.
Once you have a dream you feel excited about, begin making tiny changes, taking tiny steps to start creating it. When we are confronted with dreams or goals that feel too big or too unknown to tackle, our common response is to do nothing. Start with small steps that are enjoyable.
Fill your life with things that make you feel good. Feeling good means you are in alignment with your true or universal self. Engage with people, situations, circumstances that support your happiness and thus allow you to feel connected to who you truly are.
Anything you truly desire is possible.
I believe in you.
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Watch for these upcoming articles:
Part 3 – Why Self-Care is an Essential Goal…But Is It Selfish?
Part 4 – The WHY of Your Core Motivating Force
I would love to hear from you. Was this article helpful? Are there any questions that are plaguing you that I can help with? I love creating helpful content.
You can respond below or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tricia Acheatel has been supporting women in their personal, professional, and entrepreneurial growth for over 30 years. She teaches women how to access their inner wisdom, develop self-confidence, and create with conviction – to shape a life of meaning. Her unique approach blends inner work with practical mindset and business development tools that teach women how to find the courage to live their authentic and brilliant lives.
From her combined experience – as a corporate executive, business owner and coach, herbalist/healer, life coach, author, life designer, success team leader, and teacher – Tricia brings wisdom, intuition, compassion, and clarity to her work. Her clients and students access newfound clarity, resilience, freedom, inspiration, and the knowledge necessary to launch their dreams.