Life Envisioning for 2019 – Part 1 of 4
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You might be wondering; how could my self-sabotaging behaviors ever be wise?
I’m not a huge advocate of New Year’s resolutions because they typically fall short of fulfilling our deepest desires and are usually unrealistic and mostly externally motivated. Goals must come from within our true selves and reflect the interconnectivity of our needs.
Like most of my clients, right now you are probably beginning to review your life as the end of the year nears. Evaluating where you are right now and if you met the goals you set for 2018 or if you’ve even thought about them since last January. You likely started off with a bang but started to dwindle as self-sabotaging behaviors crept in, derailed you and left you feeling like a failure until you mustered up the energy to soldier on with your day-to-day. You’re not alone.
To be more successful and less conflicted, consider this. Counterproductive habits are our subconscious attempts to deal with a deeper issue: Self-betrayal.
There is a myriad of ways we self-sabotage. Here are just a few examples that might sound familiar to you.
· Going on shopping binges when you’re trying to reduce debt
· Spacing out important appointments
· Staying up too late and/or oversleeping
· Binging on sweets when you know everything there is to know about eating healthy
· Coming up with all kinds of excuses to avoid the gym
Not only are these kinds of behaviors holding us back in life, health, love, and work, they create a feeling of defeat. Even worse, we berate ourselves for our lack of willpower and motivation which results in low self-esteem. It can be a vicious cycle.
You will probably agree with me that these behaviors are distractions. Most common distractions – sleep, social media, wine, food, whatever your preference – are strategies to avoid emotional discomfort.
We have two parts of our self. What I call our Universal Self and our Societal Self. The emotional discomfort that we are avoiding when we self-sabotage is from these two parts of us conflicting with each other. For example, you might be a night person that works a morning shift. You might tend towards being an introvert so you avoid social events that will require small talk.
The sabotaging behavior is your Universal Self rebelling against the self-imposed conditions created by your Societal Self. Perhaps you work in an office when you yearn to spend time outdoors. So, you oversleep as a means of relief and protest.
Self-sabotaging behaviors are you rebelling against what doesn’t feel good to your Universal Self. We cannot betray ourselves in fundamental ways. We can’t force ourselves to be something we aren’t. When we heed our inherent desires, and needs, self-sabotaging stops.
How are your sabotaging behaviors telling you that something isn’t right?
I believe in you.
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Watch for these upcoming articles:
Part 2 – 5 Steps for Evaluating Your Goals
Part 3 – Why Self-Care is an Essential Goal…But Is It Selfish?
Part 4 – The WHY of Your Core Motivating Force
I would love to hear from you. Was this article helpful? Are there any questions that are plaguing you that I can help with? I love creating helpful content. You can respond below or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tricia Acheatel has been supporting women in their personal, professional, and entrepreneurial growth for over 30 years. She teaches women how to access their inner wisdom, develop self-confidence, and create with conviction – to shape a life of meaning. Her unique approach blends inner work with practical mindset and business development tools that teach women how to find the courage to live their authentic and brilliant lives.
From her combined experience – as a corporate executive, business owner and coach, herbalist/healer, life coach, author, life designer, success team leader, and teacher – Tricia brings wisdom, intuition, compassion, and clarity to her work. Her clients and students access newfound clarity, resilience, freedom, inspiration, and the knowledge necessary to launch their dreams.